Can A Marriage Survive Infidelity And A Child (and HOW to Do It)

Can a marriage survive infidelity AND a child? I’m certainly not going to tell you it’ll be easy but it’s possible. I’ve seen it happen but there are some obvious complications here.

You need to account for your life, your spouse’s and (perhaps most importantly) the child as well. You’ll need to factor in how the other person factors into the child's life. It’s possible for your marriage to survive but it’s going to take some real work.

Every marriage is going to be different in some way, shape or form. Hopefully the advice here will help give you some guidance but if you want some more specific advice then take a free marriage assessment quiz. It can help fix the underlying problems, not just address the symptoms.

In the relationships of couples, especially in marriage, apart from enjoying the love they have sworn to profess, special care must be taken so as not to cause harm to the person they supposedly love, a marriage relationship is very fragile to various dangers.

The fact that two people who come from different homes, who had different lives, who had different customs, come together to live together can sometimes mean a shock in various respects, the customs of one can displease the other, the need to continue to maintain contact with family and friends can also cause discord in the couple, even to the things they used to eat before the marriage union.

However, all of these situations, despite the difficult conflicts that may arise, can be overcome relatively easily, but there are more dangerous threats to a marriage.

Can a marriage survive infidelity and a child

It is true that an infidelity in a marriage is something very delicate and endangers the relationship, that the couple overcome this conflict depends on several aspects too delicate.

The unfaithful one has been the Man

It causes a wife a deep wound, which is very difficult to heal when she learns that her husband has had a relationship with another woman.

The woman feels her own pride hurt, she feels worthless to her partner, she feels trampled, betrayed and mocked by the person she has trusted, in whom she has put her life.

The security in itself is diminished, this situation destroys its self-esteem, but it cannot remain thus all the time, must decide that it will come, separation, revenge or to forgive.

The Unfaithful has been the Woman

This case seems more complicated, because unfortunately men tend to be more immature than women, they generally think that men’s infidelity is something normal, natural, and that women’s infidelity is something shameful, almost a crime.

For this reason, it is more traumatic for men when a woman is unfaithful, although it is more difficult for a man to detect that a woman is cheating on him.

Deceived men suffer a lot, some fall into vices such as alcohol and even suffer the mockery of friends and neighbors.

But there are situations that threaten marital relationships even more seriously, and they occur when infidelity leaves behind a child.

This is Going to Take Some Real Communication and Honesty

This is an extremely serious case, and must be handled by both parties with great intelligence.

If the husband has been the unfaithful one, a child out of wedlock will irremediably cause the wife insecurity, emotional damage that will express itself in depression, which will evidently fill her with pain, anguish, shame and fears.

It is a situation so delicate that in principle it will deserve a lot of time to reflect, heal and analyze how to act in the face of this event, which will undoubtedly affect the life of the couple.

Faced with this situation we must be clear about something more than evident, the infidelity was a fact, and the presence of the child is also a fact, from there we must act and decide.

What if the marriage can overcome this situation?

Yes, but it depends on aspects, emotions, conditions and commitments and above all on love.

In order for can a marriage survive infidelity and a child it must be clear that there are behaviors and ways of thinking that must be implemented as:

Courage

To face things as they are, without fear, it is primordial to maintain integrity, to continue being who you are, and it is primordial to avoid resentments and sadness.

Grief

It is natural that an event of this magnitude causes a feeling that we can call it, mourning, and the mourning is kept, but one should not stay in it, one lives and overcomes it, in this part the value that the relationship has comes into play.

It is time to analyze the advantages and disadvantages of your marriage, there must be a clear objective and this must be to save the marriage, to save the home, of your performance and that of your husband, it can result in a stronger marriage, it can make this event unite you more than a couple, and it can even achieve that the communication between the two improves so much that the confidence and love of both is strengthened.

Responsibility

In order for marriage not to be destroyed, a man must be sincere with his wife, reckoning honestly with what has happened, and assuming the primary commitment to his marriage, showing a true disposition to amend such a mistake.

He must take care of that child morally and financially, and the wife must facilitate these actions without conditioning him with respect to the child, but must cautiously condition the relationship with the child’s mother.

Repentance

The man has failed, he must show consideration to his wife who has caused enormous damage, he must compensate for that damage by assuming commitment and willingness to comply with conditions and requests that both establish, he must be very special with the emotional part of his wife affected, healing that wound is not an easy task, but in the salvation of the marriage it is worth the sacrifices that have to be faced.

Analysis

Everything that happens in life has its causes and effects, and if a situation like this has happened, it is a sign that something was wrong in the marriage, we must take advantage of the situation to identify the cause and take corrective measures together, to strengthen the marriage union and make sure that they do not go through similar situations again.

Limits

The wife must bear in mind that the consequence of this infidelity ended the unilateralism that existed between her and her husband, that now there is a third party, so she must determine under what limits the communication will be from now on, and what behaviors she will not allow him to do from now on.

In spite of all this, the child resulting from infidelity will have rights that cannot be denied, his or her identity, that of his or her parent, and recognition of the filial bond that he or she will have from now on.

If the child of infidelity belongs to the wife, the actions, the conciliation, the limitations imposed on both of them, as long as they want to reach the salvation of the marriage, are and must be the same, because of gender equality it must be like that, the man because he is a man has no more value than the woman.

The important thing about wounds is to heal them, but to heal them well, so that the scars are only a mark.