Common Signs Wife Is Cheating At Work

Spotting the signs your wife is cheating at work must be done with caution.

There are plenty of sites which will give you a top 10 list or something but a lot of these signs would have my husband freaking out just because of my work schedule.

Everybody is different. Every marriage is unique. Spotting the signs of cheating needs to be done in the context of your marriage and you need to avoid making any sudden judgements.

I’m going to give you some common signs to look for, but it’s important to understand why these are warning signs so you can put them in the context of your wife.

Every marriage is going to be different in some way, shape or form. Hopefully the advice here will help give you some guidance but if you want some more specific advice then take a free marriage assessment quiz. It can help fix the underlying problems, not just address the symptoms.

Women’s Psychology.

Before we can go into the 3 subtle signs your wife is cheating at work, we have to understand the female psychology. You see, contrary to popular belief, women do not cheat for “no reason”. At least for them, there is always a reason for why she might cheat on you with another man. Particularly when it comes to her cheating at work, while she may offer excuses to justify her actions, she will have very well understood reasons for why she has chosen to engage in infidelity.

First, there are two words you must know before we continue. The first word is Testosterone and the second is Hypergamy.

• Testosterone is the “aggressor” hormone. It is the “leader” hormone. Primarily found in men, testosterone is what fuels a person into becoming more proactive and goal-minded, especially when it comes to work, business, and other objective positions of power.
• Hypergamy is the social condition by which a man or woman will seek the attention of someone that is of a higher or more revered status than them. Primarily engaged in by women, hypergamy would include choosing to marry a wealthy man despite not finding him attractive, or choosing to date an incredibly strong man despite him not being particularly intelligent. For the hypergamous individual, they view their mate as someone who is their “superior”

Why are these two words important? Well for this simple fact. Women are not aggressive when it comes to their work life. With obvious exceptions, a woman is less likely to spend hours and hours at work if she doesn’t have to, nor is she the one to particularly sign up for a business trip to another place, especially if she has a family waiting for her at home. If she dresses a certain way or is normally quite open with her job, or otherwise easy to get a hold of, very rarely will she alter that attitude simply because of her own drive to be more competitive in the workplace. As such, especially if this attitude starts and stops at the workplace (ie. she rarely shows this assertiveness at restaurants or in social settings) that may mean there are other reasons for her shift in attitude, despite her cries to the contrary.

Now that we’ve gone over the mind of a woman and what it does and does not normally do, let’s now go into the top 3 signs she might be cheating at work.

Personality Shifts

A bit of a piggyback off of the earlier point, if your wife or girlfriend suddenly begins acting differently than she normally does, this is something to take note of.

While certainly, a wife that says “I love you” more often or is more intimately aggressive with you does not innately mean she is cheating on you with someone at her office, they are definitely worth paying attention to. Again, women are largely static individuals in terms of their actions. Very rarely will she take it upon herself to show more affection unless something outside of her has given her reason to do so.

Think back to recent events. Have you done anything largely different around her that might make her show more affection? Did you, say, fight a group of thugs or defend her from her parents, or get her a gift she had been longing for? If yes, well then there’s your answer. If no… then there’s your answer.

Here are some of the signs that are most specifically linked with her cheating on you, specifically with a co-worker:

• She is more or less interested in you physically: Whichever of the two she chooses is largely dependent on her innate personality as well as her past experience with sex. Either way, it is a sign. A more physically interested woman may be rooted in her feeling guilty for cheating. Similarly, less may be rooted in her emotional detachment from you and that she is “getting it” somewhere else. The biggest one to look out for is if she becomes interested in performing different acts between the two of you. While this may seem fun and exciting for you, her bringing this up may largely be because she has been “taught” by someone else. And while cheating is bad enough, if she is being “taught” things by the person she is cheating with, this may turn on her sense of hypergamy as he is her senior in this as well as (in her mind) other things.
• She is more or less close or affectionate: Similar to the aforementioned point only in general activities. A guilty conscience has a way of making a woman try to overcompensate, in a way to fool herself or to distance herself as much as possible as a way to “dehumanize” the relationship. (We’ve drifted apart)
• She makes snide comments or is very controlling: If she is not the type of person that normally has a sharp tongue, this is almost certainly because she has found someone else. Either through guilt or simply not viewing you “as a man”, a woman that suddenly stops respecting you is due to her very much because she has found someone she respects more.

1. Sudden Interest in Work

As stated earlier, women are generally not career-oriented and will usually pursue more social activities over business-related ones. This is simply the root of testosterone. It drives an individual to spend large amounts of time in a competitive and aggressive environment that is the workspace.

Now, by no means am I suggesting that a woman cannot have the traits to grow in a corporate sector or otherwise “hang with the boys”. What I am saying is for you to look at her overall behavior. Generally speaking, women that are aggressive in the work sphere are aggressive in most other aspects of their life. Very, very rarely do they suddenly and solely become interested in doing well at work while being very feminine in all other areas of her life. Similarly, when she speaks about her work or seems to treat her work, what is her attitude? Does she have a hardness to her that comes with having “thick skin” or does she seem largely still “soft” and “girly”?

While these seem like inane questions, they are hugely important! The reason women can so effectively cheat on their husbands and boyfriends is that their tells are subtle! She will never not have an alibi nor will she ever be caught with pictures on her phone. If she is going to reveal her infidelity, it will either be through moving in with the man she’s been cheating with or pushing you to break up with her first. Until then, he will always be “just a friend” and you will always be “paranoid”.

If a woman regards work largely the same as she normally does but “has to go back to the office”, this may very likely be because she is going to see someone. Similarly, if she begins to dress more flirtatious or provocative, this is most certainly a sign she is cheating or attempting to. Looking presentable is one thing. Looking desirable is quite the other. Keep these things in mind.

1. Strangely Guarded around Specific Co-Worker

One of the biggest signs your wife is cheating on you at work is if she is guarded around a specific co-worker. This can take the form of several different ways but all are largely the same. If she is quiet when the two of you are around if she never mentions “Kyle’s” name when talking about different people. If her voice gets quiet when you bring them up or she makes a noncommittal statement and tries to rush past that topic, this is likely evidence she has been cheating on you.

As stated earlier, women are very skilled at hiding their intention. That skill, if you are looking, however, can be their biggest sign. If your wife talks about all other members of her office space and is otherwise very agreeable, but is oddly silently about one person, in particular, you will need to have a conversation.

Where Do You Stand?

So, with all this out and in the open, where does this leave you? Let’s say you follow these steps, you pay more attention, and it is revealed that she is cheating on you at work. What then?

The first thing you must do is understand that this is due to her not viewing you as someone that can provide for her. It’s a hard pill to swallow but a true one. The reason she has cheated is most likely because her hypergamous nature has activated by way of a more “senior” man coming into her life.

So what can you do to make sure this doesn’t happen again? Well, the first thing you can do is to end the relationship if possible. For some this may be harder than others (due to shared children, home, finances, etc) however, you must disengage from her. After this, rather than jumping into a new relationship or swearing off women altogether, spend a few months self-reflecting and building yourself back up from the heartbreak.

Finally, before starting a new relationship with a new woman, forgive your old wife or girlfriend and ask her what she felt you did wrong. While this may be quite an interesting and counter-intuitive action, it will only help you in the long run. If she is willing to tell you, take it to heart and consider it as a legitimate criticism to make you better as a person. Maybe she felt you weren’t aggressive enough in the relationship or in your own career. Maybe she felt lonely or bored and resented that you weren’t willing to give her some excitement. None of these things excuse her actions but it does give you knowledge on what to look out for when getting in a new relationship.

In Summary

The reality is that women are no less cheaters than men; they are only better at concealing it. If you follow these tips and pay attention to her sudden shifts, you’ll be able to know her true nature and either stop the cheating from happening in the first place or end the relationship to find someone that will be more faithful and legitimate instead.