How To Forgive Someone Who Cheated On You Multiple Times and Move On

Marriage Clever
6 min readSep 22, 2020

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Learning how to forgive someone who cheated on you multiple times has one answer. Deal with the root of the problem so it doesn’t happen again.

A marriage can survive cheating multiple times and still come back better than before but it’s not about forgetting it ever happened (because it would just happen again). It’s about actually dealing with the problem.

Every marriage is going to be different in some way, shape or form. Hopefully the advice here will help give you some guidance but if you want some more specific advice then take a free marriage assessment quiz. It can help fix the underlying problems, not just address the symptoms.

Despite the fact that there are many negative effects after an infidelity, there are those who decide to bet on the positive they have with their partner, on their qualities, and focus on overcoming the obstacles that infidelity has generated in their relationship. There are even couples who have strengthened their relationship, after overcoming an infidelity.

When a relationship is in its infancy, the couple in love usually promise each other love and fidelity forever. In the first few months of a relationship, people have the best intentions and truly believe and commit to belonging to only one person.

Over time, the couple faces challenges that shake their promises; And one of the things that tends to falter is fidelity.

Infidelity Something impossible to forgive?

For many people, infidelity is something unacceptable, offensive, and they do not feel in the capacity to forgive, because socially infidelity is something that should not happen in a couple.

But, is it possible to personify infidelity? Does a person who has cheated on you several times deserve your forgiveness?

Actually, yes, it is possible to forgive someone who cheated on you multiple times. But first, you must change your beliefs about infidelity, or else, you will feel that by forgiving you are going against your own values.

If you are one of the people who believe that he could not forgive an infidelity, it is time for you to see it from another perspective and being objective.

It must be understood that when a couple does not talk about their problems and they keep without communicating their emotions, they will not be able to resolve their conflicts, and therefore some of them may resort to infidelity on several occasions.

As long as the dissatisfaction remains in the partner, the unfaithful person can take the easier option; look in another person for what you can’t find in your relationship.

It is possible to forgive, but there are consequences in a relationship, after an infidelity.

What are the consequences of an infidelity? And how to cope

The immediate consequence is pain. The deceived person will suffer when discovering the reality about the relationships that her partner has kept hidden.

Then, trust in the partner is broken and this is one of the most important consequences. Also, the self-esteem of the cheated person can be affected, thinking that it has not been enough to meet the expectations of their partner.

The only way to forgive is to overcome all these obstacles. The couple should discuss uncomfortable topics. Why it happened? How can they improve so that it does not happen again? and how to forgive someone who cheated on you multiple times?

Relying on trusting a partner who was unfaithful is not easy, but it is possible if the partner feels it is worth it.

If the unfaithful person loves her partner and is willing to change and fight for the relationship, this is a sign that the relationship is worth recovering.

To forgive you must first analyze the situation

It is not about forgiving simply because you love the other person, you must be objective and analyze if the other person deserves a chance.

You must think about what caused your partner to be unfaithful, his intentions with you if he wants to change and work to heal the wounds he has left on you.

Know how to forgive someone who cheated on you multiple times is a process, which is initially very painful. Your partner must be willing to regain the trust they broke, and to show you that they will act forcefully so as not to disappoint you.

You, on the other hand, must be willing not to get carried away by emotions, feelings of pain, anger, resentment, which make the process of recovering the relationship impossible.

It won’t do any good if your partner tries, but deep down, you can’t really appear.

For this reason, you must make a decision consciously, without feeling pressured by the opinion of other people. You must believe that it is really possible and worthwhile to improve your relationship.

You must ask yourself what do you really want?

Learn to forget

To forgive it is necessary to forget, especially if it is an infidelity. This is the only way for the relationship to grow stronger.

It is not an easy thing, because you will have to create the perspective that you are starting from scratch with your partner. You must build everything again with your partner, that is, new projects, dreams, goals, ways of managing the relationship, among other things.

This will make them as a couple have new illusions and projects together that will make them visualize their future, and work to obtain it. You will become more involved as a couple and this will not allow feelings of jealousy, resentment, or anger to arise between you.

If both people continue to love each other, the best advice to continue the relationship is to forget and turn the page; in order to build the relationship again.

Forgetfulness will not happen from one day to the next, for this reason, you must communicate to your partner how you feel because this will help you calm the pain or anger. In time, you will forget and the scar will heal.

Communication is essential to restore lost trust and to channel feelings in a positive way. Talking will make them recognize the best way to channel the relationship.

Infidelity is a common problem and can have a solution

The truth is that infidelity is a problem faced by many couples, and the main cause of infidelity is the dissatisfaction of one of the parties in the relationship.

In a relationship, communication should be something intrinsic, however, some people prefer not to talk about their feelings, emotions, problems, or dissatisfaction, and resort to looking for another person to feel affection, get sex, support or understanding.

The ideal is to find a solution to the problems with the couple, to reach an agreement, and find a way to cope with the relationship; but in most cases, this does not happen.

After an infidelity, there is the possibility of making sure that the problems are not treated in the same way within the relationship. It is possible that the couple is committed again, and that they are willing to pay the price to rebuild a relationship that has been affected by infidelity.

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Marriage Clever

Sharing my thoughts and (hopefully) my help with even one more person in the world will make this all worthwhile.