Husband Refuses To Talk About Problems (How to Fix This)

Marriage Clever
6 min readSep 17, 2020

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If your husband refuses to talk about problems it can spell disaster for your marriage but there is a fix. So what does it mean and what can you do to get him talking?

If your husband is refusing to talk there might be an underlying issue. He might be trying to get your attention or there might be an even more glaring problem.

Every marriage is going to be different in some way, shape or form. Hopefully the advice here will help give you some guidance but if you want some more specific advice then take a free marriage assessment quiz. It can help fix the underlying problems, not just address the symptoms.

You’ve been happily married for years and your relationship has always gone well; or so you thought until recently. Your husband has been uncommunicative for a long time, he avoids you and when you ask him what is wrong with him he prefers to change the subject. It’s obvious that something is wrong between you, but what? You have no idea how to find out and the situation is starting to generate a lot of anxiety and fear.

The reasons why a man may stop talking to his wife are very varied, the most common being pain or resentment for something his wife has done in the past, or because of external problems he doesn’t want to share with her. In either case, such evident lack of communication only expresses that the marriage has problems and that it needs to be solved as soon as possible.

One of the main mistakes that most wives make is to put pressure on their husband or to reproach him directly for his attitude and silence, which is totally counterproductive. If we really want to find out what the source of the problem is, we must use another strategy, one that is more intelligent and in which conflict is avoided at all costs.

Next, to help you find out the real reason why your husband does not want to talk to you about your relationship, we are going to give you six possible reasons why this situation may have started.

Do you want to know why your husband refuses to talk about problems?

Read on!

Tips for finding out why your husband isn’t talking to you

He’s trying to get your attention

There is a possibility that your husband may not feel loved and may need you to pay a little more attention to him and your marriage. This is similar to the behavior children have with their mothers, seeking to draw attention in a forced way so that the other person ends up paying attention to them and asking what they need.

Although this attitude is valid and can affect both husbands and wives, it is not healthy for your relationship, because if your husband feels you don’t love him enough he should be able to tell you directly; instead of playing a jealous little boy who starts crying when he doesn’t get what he wants.

You should try to communicate with him to see if his silence is really due to that, or if on the contrary it is something more serious that you cannot see. In any case, if it is a question of inattention, the solution is very easy: spend more time with him and avoid planning things without consulting him.

Avoid arguing

Have you ever thought that maybe your husband doesn’t want to talk to you about what’s wrong with him because he doesn’t want to create a conflict? There are many men who hate conflict and prefer to remain silent for days until the storm passes, rather than face the problem and talk about it with their partner. This will certainly save you a lot of nerves, but in the long run it will generate many new questions: Is my husband afraid to talk to me?

There are marriages that argue about everything and there are others who can solve things by talking, but in no case are there marriages that solve problems in silence. Silence does not fix anything and of course it is not healthy, since it denotes that there is a serious problem of communication between both.

Your husband does not speak because he no longer believes in you

If you’ve had an argument recently or have been going through several crises in your marriage, perhaps the reason for his silence is that he doesn’t believe you have a future together. There are times when a silence says more than a thousand words and if you have been talking about the same thing for a long time without reaching an agreement, perhaps your husband is thinking that it is best to leave it alone.

Silence can also be a sign of sadness and lack of love, so you should try to communicate with him and find out as soon as possible what is happening to him. After all, you are a married couple and if things have to end, it is better to talk about it and not to keep an uncomfortable silence.

He is punishing you for some mistake

Your husband may not talk to you because he is trying to punish you for something you did that he didn’t like. There are people who try to make others see the error through indifference and silence, because that way they will know how much it hurts that someone else hurt you and not ask for forgiveness for it.

This behavior is typical of people who feel they never make mistakes and who believe they have the right to punish others when they do; which is difficult to change and will test your marriage more than once, no doubt. In any case, you should try to remedy this situation and force a conversation, in this way you will put an end to this cruel behavior that he is leading and you will also solve old disputes that have led you to this situation.

Try to create a distance between you

There are millions of reasons why one person stops talking to another: anger, pain, guilt, indifference, and so on. Your husband may be starting to create an emotional distance from you because he thinks your marriage is over, making it much easier for him to walk away rather than face the situation.

On the other hand, there is also the possibility that your husband is having an affair or falling in love with another woman, which suggests that if he is walking away from you it is because of guilt and shame. It is cowardly behavior that avoids facing that new situation, leaving the other member of the relationship with all the responsibility for finding out what is going on.

Whatever the reason, you should tackle the problem and sit down and talk to your husband, whether he likes it or not. Whether it’s out of sadness, exhaustion or a cheat, no one deserves to be left in doubt as to whether their marriage is coming to an end or not. Fight to find out and you’ll both be much more comfortable.

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Marriage Clever
Marriage Clever

Written by Marriage Clever

Sharing my thoughts and (hopefully) my help with even one more person in the world will make this all worthwhile.

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