Is It OK For My Wife To Text Another Man (The Truth)
Is it OK for my wife to text another man? Is it cheating?
There’s no simple yes or no answer here because context matters.
First of all ask yourself if it’s OK for you to text other women. No, it’s not different. In some contexts it’s perfectly fine, I’d say most in fact. The problem becomes when the context of the message is something inappropriate.
Every marriage is going to be different in some way, shape or form. Hopefully the advice here will help give you some guidance but if you want some more specific advice then take a free marriage assessment quiz. It can help fix the underlying problems, not just address the symptoms.
Trust and Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is a fundamental part of any relationship and often, during the early stages of getting to know our partner, sharing unique information about ourselves or personal lives is what helps to cultivate trust and intimacy. Whether it is due to chemistry or an immediate bond, in the early stages what contributes to making many relationships special is the fact that we can share information with that particular person in ways that we haven’t necessarily been able to communicate with others.
As relationships become more long-term and progress to marriage, it can become easy for the simplest of things that we valued the most to become undervalued and underestimated over time. Living in a fast-paced, modern-day world, it is common for us to constantly be in contact via online and on our phones and not always put enough time or thought into the way that we are communicating. With this in mind, when thinking, is it ok for my wife to text another man, and partners are in contact with the opposite sex, boundaries can begin to slip. When we think the ways that we are communicating are innocuous, it is likely that it is slowly eroding trust and intimacy between both partners. Every woman communicates differently, however, it is not uncommon for some women to be texting other men due to business, friendships, previous partners that are male, and other men for dating purposes. Understandably, women who are texting other men behind their partner’s back are setting their relationship up to fail and to hurt their partner immensely and this opens up issues on a whole other level.
Over time, the question is, what is the cost of this type of communication and how does it impact marriages?
Context and Amount of Contact
Some wives might be completely open and honest with their husbands that they are texting other men. For many, the conversations could be completely work-based or based on a friendship and this might not pose any sort of threat for a husband. If a husband has enough security within the relationship or they are familiar with the people that their wife is contacting it might not cause instability within the relationship. Naturally, the response may vary based upon the personality of the husband, their levels of trust towards their wife and their relationship, and also their views upon whether it is acceptable to text another male. Many people believe that if a relationship has healthy amounts of trust within it, then there is no need for the other partner to feel threatened nor jealous; however, there can also be contentious responses to this.
On-the-other-hand, some husbands might question the regularity of the contact. If it is work-based, some husbands may consider the contact intrusive and query why it needs to encroach upon a personal life or why it cannot be rearranged to be discussed during work time. Additionally, if a husband has not met the ‘friend’ that their wife is contacting, it is natural that this could lead to a suspicious mindset and progressively lead to an emotional detachment within the relationship over time.
One common issue that is likely to arise is if one partner considers this a breach of loyalty within the partnership and they have shared their negative feelings about the communication with their wife and their wife still continues to text other men. The likely outcome of this is that a husband will feel very betrayed, unsure of the boundaries within the relationship, and also that there is a lack of respect for privacy between them both.
Honesty and Texting
As suspicions grow, deeper problems can manifest. When a husband turns a blind eye to a few texts he might then go on to decide what he considers to be acceptable correspondence, for example, how many times a day, week, or month his wife can contact other men. If a husband is confident that their wife will openly share all of the correspondence with her husband, he won’t necessarily like that she is engaging with another man but it might not damage elements of trust within the relationship too much or at all. In contrast, if the wife has a differing opinion and begins to almost feel ‘tracked’ by her husband, this could lead to a breakdown in the relationship and a disparity in the shared values and understanding within the relationship.
Furthermore, the way that a husband might feel about his wife texting another man could fluctuate. In the early stages, when a husband is contemplating, is it ok for my wife to text another man, it is possible that a husband might not want to appear too controlling over his wife’s life and not properly express how he feels towards the contact. Also, he might not initially want to face-up to how he truly feels about this as it might feel like a problem that he will have to address and he doesn’t necessarily know how to confront. Over-time, this lack of true communication could lead to feelings of resentment and betrayal which will have a long-term negative impact on the relationship.
Polyamory
In our modern-day world, people have a range of different views about what is and is not acceptable within relationships. Furthermore, based on different sexual orientations and preferences, this can lead to more open and honest discussions so that both partners are satisfied. Polyamory allows either emotional or intimate connection with more than one partner and means that there is space for each partner to have separate relationships or for both partners to come-together mutually and invite others into their relationship: it all really depends upon the views and perspectives of each partner. Based upon some of the principles of polyamory, this might make husbands question further, is it ok for my wife to text other men?
Within some marriages, some partners may agree on what the boundaries are with texting other men or women and this might work with the style of the relationship that they are investing in.
What Works For You and Your Marriage?
Whilst some husbands might be open to their wife texting other men who they consider their friends and colleagues, others might end-up feeling betrayed, insecure, and detached in the relationship. Some partners may have the trust to discuss relationships that they feel comfortable with and those that they feel create distrust and both partners might be able to reach an agreement on what is and is not acceptable within their relationship.
Communication is key to making all marriages work, and one of the biggest mistakes that a woman can make which will lead to her husband feeling betrayed and sabotaging their relationship is hiding contact that she is having with another man.
How each couple feels regarding communication with other men and reaching a conclusion about is it ok for my wife to text another man is unique to them and will vary from person-to-person and each partnership. The best direction that each partner can go in is to value each other’s feelings, opinions, and morals and to discuss everything openly and honestly.
