What If One Spouse Doesn’t Want A Divorce?
An impending divorce isn’t as much of a deal breaker as you might think. Some marriages come back from the very brink so what if one spouse doesn’t a divorce?
Sometimes one spouse fighting to save a marriage is enough to pull it back but there’s no guarantee. Divorce statistics are skewed towards couples where neither one wants to remain married but it’s possible to prevent a divorce if you’re the only one fighting to save your marriage.
Every marriage is going to be different in some way, shape or form. Hopefully the advice here will help give you some guidance but if you want some more specific advice then take a free marriage assessment quiz. It can help fix the underlying problems, not just address the symptoms.
Marriage is ultimately the most beautiful thing you can have for yourself. When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, this is truly a remarkable experience. Marriage means having a best friend and a partner for the rest of your lives together, for better or for worst. However, things don’t always work out- even in a marriage. As with any relationship, marriages are also capable of falling apart. However, it’s not too late to turn your marriage around and fix whatever needs fixing. So what happens if one spouse doesn’t want a divorce?
What if one spouse doesn’t want a divorce?
When one of you refuses to accept the divorce, maybe you aren’t seeing all sides of the pictures. When one of you doesn’t accept the divorce, this can be an opportunity to fix the marriage. Just because you’re about to file for divorce, it doesn’t guarantee that the divorce is really over. This may come as a shock to you, but maybe your spouse is waiting for you to come around. A relationship, especially a marriage, takes two to tango and when one of you refuses to fight for the marriage, it just won’t work. Instead, you can use this as an opportunity to win your spouse back. A marriage isn’t entirely over, especially when one of you refuses to accept the divorce. There are so many ways to win your spouse back without realizing it.
Ways to win your spouse back
1. Court them again
The frustrating thing about a long-term relationship or marriage is the consistency. No matter the gender, you’re supposed to treat your significant other the same as when you first started dating them. Even as the situation is different now that you’ve grown comfortable and familiar with one another, it doesn’t mean you stop showing them how much you mean to them. You need to act as if you’re trying to get them to fall in love with you again and that’s exactly how to get your spouse back. You need to stop taking them for granted — just because they’re with you all the time, it doesn’t mean that they feel loved by you. For all you know, they feel more alone than ever but you don’t realize this. People have different love languages, which is why it’s essential that you pay attention to your spouse.
2. Spend time with them
Your spouse doesn’t want to agree with the divorce for a reason and this implies that they feel a sense of hope for your marriage- something you should feel, too. By spending time with your spouse, you’ll remember precisely why you married them and promised to spend forever with them. Spending time with your spouse means being present and not having your attention elsewhere such as your phone. Any person in a relationship would want to feel the focus is on them and this is what you want to make your spouse feel. If they denied the divorce, they must see your marriage as not completely hopeless, and spending time with them is a way to rekindle the love you share for each other. A marriage doesn’t just fall apart without any concrete reason. Most likely, one of you gave up on the marriage entirely. If necessary, take your spouse on a date and let each other remember what if felt like when you once were head-over-heels for one another.
3. Communicate
A lot of marriages are ruined by avoiding confrontation and refusing to communicate altogether. Once you realize that a divorce won’t solve your marriage problems, you need to confront all your issues in the marriage that you refuse to avoid. Communication is one of the most crucial aspects for a healthy and contented marriage and when one- or both of you- completely avoids talking about your issues as a way to deal with it, things get complicated from that moment forward. It’s best to talk about each one of your problems straight-up and instead of resolving issues with a divorce, try talking about them first. This is one of the hardest parts of marriage as not everyone is comfortable with vulnerability and transparency, even to a spouse. However, in marrying them, you should’ve realized that they’re the person you’re supposed to be most vulnerable to. You can’t avoid communication and confrontation in any relationship and there’s no reason to prolong this further. Ask them how they feel and tell them how you feel as well- it works both ways.
4. Ask yourself what a divorce is for
When you married them, you probably imagined spending the rest of eternity with them, no matter what storms and struggles you go through. In this mindset, you need to ask yourself what a divorce will do. If you have kids, it’s likely that you don’t want to put your kids through all that just because of an unresolved conflict. Dealing with divorce is much more complicated than actually fixing a marriage and at the end of the day, fixing your marriage will leave everyone happy and contented. This is why it’s so important to fight for your marriage on both ends and to never stop fighting for the love that both of you share. Nobody ever implied that a marriage would be easy and even as divorce is seen as a way-out, if there’s a way to fix your marriage, why shouldn’t you take it?
In conclusion, I hope this article was able to shed a light on what if one spouse doesn't want a divorce. No matter how hard a marriage gets, divorce shouldn’t be the only way out. If your spouse doesn’t agree with the divorce, this may be a sign that they still hope that your marriage could be fixed. Marriage is all about partnership, understanding, and patience. When there are certain issues that need to be solved, you need to run to your spouse and try everything to fix this instead of relying on a divorce to fix things.
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